I…I don’t know why I feel like you guys are telling the truth. I trust my gut but this just has to be the most retarded fiend setup ever devised. I know I’m going to regret doing this but… Lets go.
After arriving at Lufkin with members of the Fiends in pursuit, the members of Apocalypse Now! The 7 Magnificent Friends were met by Dead-Eye Darien. Buddy Scout managed to flag him down so that he didn’t shoot our party on sight. Fiend battle wagon depicted in the above picture on the right.
After convincing Dead-Eye Darien that the members of AN were not Fiends, he agreed to help the group in return for eradicating the Fiend attack force. AN devised a plan where they would attempt to use the harpoon guns on the battle wagon in order to chain the fiends together with barbed wire.
Upon seeing AN, Dead-Eye Darien and his posse, the Fiends opened up fire with several volleys of rockets causing the Battle Wagon to spin out of control. Kirk Mask managed to regain control and proceeded to the southern flank of the fiend formation while the Regulators moved to the northern flank. After Frank “Ziggy” Murdock and Thor Vingþórr(Hallower) Von Asgard shot off the harpoon guns Thor jumped onto the enemy dune buggy to neutralize the mini-gun. Rockets punched into the side of the Battle Wagon thereby destroying the armored carrier.
After killing the mini-gun wielder, Thor ripped it off of its mount and pointed it inside the Dune Buggy to kill Tri-Boob and the Driver. At this point, the others near the southern flank started to chainsaw (Kirk Mask), shoot and smoke bomb (Ziggy) their way through the Fiends.
After thoroughly routing the Fiends, the members of AN picked up salvaged as detailed on the lefts side of the above picture.
Ziggy’s Log: Stardate…We might be fucked.
We’re poisoned, so very poisoned. I can feel myself growing less competent in every way as the days pass. On the bright side, I’ve had two very delicious burgers as of late. So our goal is to extract the Senator’s Son from the Fiends so that a deranged, invisible burgerman will give us the antidote to the poison that is quickly making us increasingly dead.
Our plan utilize a cunningly-crafted picnic basket ruse. Everyone’s favorite ant-suplexing (and possibly man-eating?) gourmand will be joining us with a delicious meal for the daughter of someone who might actually be as smart as I am, as hard as that is to believe. Goat-Stomping Jim the Typhoon, I believe his name was. Strange ones, these fiends, even by my standards.
Oh, and we also nearly died fighting the fiends twice in a 24 hour period. On the bright side, I was able to perform surgery on many people, including Dead-Eye Dan(Darian?).
I removed a paper mache hat from the talker. He’s into some stuff so kinky that even I feel somewhat uncomfortable being around him now.
I’ll be making a grapple gun in my spare time before the final mission, since we’ll actually be in an area with some buildings for our next mission. Once we have the Political Tool Child, we can high-tail it to Lubbock, and hopefully not be burgered to death, or whatever it is invisible sandwich men do.
Oh, and the backup plan is to have Thor challenge people to some sort of gladiatorial sex match, or whatever fiends do when they’re feeling both horny and adversarial, which is always.
Odin den utspekulerte 1st year Heyannir Day 11
I have consumed a poisoned meal that they call a bergar. If the poison should take me to the namesleep, then the bergar shall be known as Thorsbane. Der Meister Von Bergars First of His Name has called upon me to save a male damsel from fiends.
Miles first of his name has been deflowered thoroughly in ways that would be illegal in Asgard. Thus I, as Thor von Asgard have bestowed him the name Miles Anus Asunder (FoHN).
I have waged war upon Fiends and have found them equal to frost giants in their difficulty to strike into namesleep. We were lucky to have Darien of the Dead-Eyes (FoHN) to aide us in the battle. I grieved for the lack of a victory feast.